Friday, February 8, 2019

PRISON DOORS (of self-critical discontentment and blame)






PRISON DOORS

It's easy to become locked into a prison of self-critical discontentment when we are unable to find the security, status or comfort we expected. Too often we become paralyzed by these feelings of discouragement and loose our momentum in our life or our recovery, but we must remember that even the least among us today often experience greater riches than even....

Louis XIV..."The Sun King"...

“The Sun King had dinner each night alone. He chose from forty dishes, served on gold and silver plate. It took a staggering 498 people to prepare each meal. He was rich because he consumed the work of other people, mainly in the form of their services."

"He was rich because other people did things for him. At that time, the average French family would have prepared and consumed its own meals as well as paid tax to support his servants in the palace. So it is not hard to conclude that Louis XIV was rich because others were poor."

But what about today?

"Consider that you are an average person, say a woman of 35, living in, for the sake of argument, Paris and earning the median wage, with a working husband and two children. You are far from poor, but in relative terms, you are immeasurably poorer than Louis was."

"Where he was the richest of the rich in the world’s richest city, you have no servants, no palace, no carriage, no kingdom. As you toil home from work on the crowded Metro, stopping at the shop on the way to buy a ready meal for four, you might be thinking that Louis XIV’s dining arrangements were way beyond your reach."

And yet consider this.

"The cornucopia that greets you as you enter the supermarket dwarfs anything that Louis XIV ever experienced (and it is probably less likely to contain salmonella). You can buy a fresh, frozen, tinned, smoked or pre-prepared meal made with beef, chicken, pork, lamb, fish, prawns, scallops, eggs, potatoes, beans, carrots, cabbage, aubergine, kumquats, celeriac, okra, seven kinds of lettuce, cooked in olive, walnut, sunflower or peanut oil and flavored with cilantro, turmeric, basil or rosemary."

"You may have no chefs, but you can decide on a whim to choose between scores of nearby bistros, or Italian, Chinese, Japanese or Indian restaurants, in each of which a team of skilled chefs is waiting to serve your family at less than an hour’s notice. Think of this: never before this generation has the average person been able to afford to have somebody else prepare his meals."

"You employ no tailor, but you can browse the internet and instantly order from an almost infinite range of excellent, affordable clothes of cotton, silk, linen, wool and nylon made up for you in factories all over Asia."

"You have no carriage, but you can buy a ticket which will summon the services of a skilled pilot of a budget airline to fly you to one of hundreds of destinations that Louis never dreamed of seeing. You have no woodcutters to bring you logs for the fire, but the operators of gas rigs in Russia are clamoring to bring you clean central heating."

"You have no wick-trimming footman, but your light switch gives you the instant and brilliant produce of hardworking people at a grid of distant nuclear power stations. You have no runner to send messages, but even now a repairman is climbing a mobile-phone mast somewhere in the world to make sure it is working properly just in case you need to call that cell."

"You have no private apothecary, but your local pharmacy supplies you with the handiwork of many thousands of chemists, engineers and logistics experts. You have no government ministers, but diligent reporters are even now standing ready to tell you about a film star’s divorce if you will only switch to their channel or log on to their blogs."

"My point is that you have far, far more than 498 servants at your immediate beck and call. Of course, unlike the Sun King’s servants, these people work for many other people too, but from your perspective what is the difference?"

This is truly a marvelous time to be alive, and your contribution will only make it better for those who follow you as you work step 12. But we must open the doors in our own mind and walk out of the prisons we have created. The following link is to a series of speakers as they share about achieving Recovery.

Hear them at: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_




Original unedited posting found at: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ToddWilliam11/posts/PnKmjgpgKeB
Photo at: http://www.tourist-destinations.com/2014/09/palace-of-versailles.html
and: https://romaniadacia.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/communist-prisons/

REAL SANITY (provides perspective)



REAL SANITY...


The sanity of recovery is about maintaining perspective in a world of uncertainty. It is knowing that a sober relationship with our Maker is enough.

It is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?”

It is accepting the world as it is and still experiencing reasonable hope.

Photo source: http://medio-ambiente.practicopedia.lainformacion.com/catastrofes-naturales/como-se-forma-un-tornado-13198

Sunday, February 3, 2019

EMPOWERMENT & RECOVERY (12 step, anger, cannabis...)





Empowerment & Recovery 

Click title above for Playlist. 


The Playlist present a variety of speakers addressing various topics in Recovery including Brene' Brown, Brennan Manning, John Townsend, Nicky Cruz, Paul Wood, Jenny McDirmid and Mandy Saligari on a variety of approaches from 12 step to recreational networks mentors and education. Hope that you enjoy the harmony in the variety.
My story... I was adopted from an orphanage at age two and raised in the homes of multiple functional alcoholic fathers. My struggle was with anger, personal connection and substance abuse in my teens. I have been attending or leading meetings at Celebrate Recovery for nearly 20 years. I continue because of the support and help that I find. It is a place where I can work though my frustrations and learn from others without hurting or further damaging my relationship with those that I love.

Empowerment & Recovery

Click title above for the full Playlist. 




Here are the Four C's of Addiction:




LOSS OF CONTROL:

(Substance abuse)
You can't have “just one” without taking a big risk.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
You can't stop your emotions without abusing self or others)

CONTINUED USE:

(Substance abuse)
Despite harmful consequences you spiral out of control, and keep using anyway.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
Even though you know your actions are making things worse you can't stop, won't stop or don't know how to stop.

COMPULSION TO USE:

(Substance abuse)
It's what you think about in the back of your mind. It's there all of the time. 

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
Self talk with self justification in seeing the insanity as the ONLY OPTION to protect yourself from being vulnerable.

CRAVING:

(Substance abuse and)
(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)

The drive to Use, Get High, Loaded or Stoned or...
To Act Out to regain the false sense of control begins to define you internally and eventually publicly. You find yourself compulsively wanting more or in uncomfortable withdrawals.


So What do you think?

Do you think the four C's of Addiction apply to:

Pornography use?
Infatuations and Compulsive Relationships?
Compulsive Overeating?
Compulsive Anger or Withdrawal?
How about Compulsive video gaming?
or Retreat into work ...(?)

For some interesting videos on recovery and empowerment click the link directly below includes the (same) as playlist above
with an additional running commentary:





The gentleman pictured above is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He won the Academy Award, Golden Globe, BAFTA Award and the Critics Choice Award in 2005 and several more in 2012. After 23 years of sobriety, he was found dead in his apartment, apparently from a heroin overdose. Hoffman's body was found amidst syringes, cocaine, prescription pill bottles and 50 small bags of heroin.

Hoffman had gone public about his past drug addiction. In 2006 he told 60 Minutes that when he was 22 he "got panicked for my life", and gave up the drugs and alcohol. Remember, he was clean for 23 years. Twenty-three years! And then two years ago, he relapsed.

In 2004, there were 1,879 heroin deaths, while in 2010 this spiked to 3,038. Across the US, there are approximately 600,000 heroin addicts , each spending from $100 to $200 daily to support their addiction.

But it's not just heroin. Once an addict, always an addict. Regardless of your sex, race or creed, if you're an addict, you're an addict—for life. Addiction is a brain disease. If you go through rehab, you're not cured. You're clean. But you're not cured

Hoffman was clean for 23 years and was unbelievably successful. In 2012 he began taking prescription pain pills. And he relapsed. He wasn't being selfish. He wasn't being stupid. He didn't think he was invincible. He was an addict, and he relapsed and died alone in his apartment.

Despite all the advances in treatment, increased understanding of brain chemistry, realization that addiction causes changes in neural pathways and various new meds that suppress cravings, this simple fact remains true: “Once an addict always an addict”.


And IF YOU'RE AN ADDICT
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE JUST ONE WITHOUT TAKING A TERRIBLE RISK!



What do you think? Do you think the four C's of #Addiction apply to #Pornography use? Infatuations or Compulsive Relationships? Compulsive Overeating? Compulsive Anger? or Compulsive Withdrawal into....(?)

For some interesting videos on #Recovery and #Empowerment click the www.youtube link listed directly below.

___________________________________


Robin Williams:
Courage through Vulnerability,
20 years of Success  with 12 Step Support


photo from 
https://www.news.com.au/world/breaking-news/robin-williams-in-12-step-treatment/news-story/72cbfec1ece796877bbf55dc0efc5d7f

"Keep coming back; It works if you will work it, " is the saying often recited at the end of a #12stepAAmeeting . But after 20 plus years of success, something went wrong. Terribly wrong.

Williams used to be a big-drinking cocaine addict, but quit both before the birth of his eldest son in 1983, and stayed sober for 20 years. On location in Alaska in 2003, however, he started drinking again. He brings this up himself, and the minute he does he becomes more engaged.

"I was in a small town where it's not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, hey, maybe drinking will help. Because I felt alone and afraid. It was that thing of working so much, and going fxxk, maybe that will help. And it was the worst thing in the world." What did he feel like when he had his first drink? "You feel warm and kind of wonderful. And then the next thing you know, it's a problem, and you're isolated." fearfulness and anxiety." He didn't take up cocaine again, because "I knew that would kill me".....

Some have suggested it was Reeve's death that turned him back to drink. "No," he says quietly, "it's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."

In the end it was a family intervention that put him into residential rehab. I wonder if he was "Robin Williams" in rehab, and he agrees. "Yeah, you start off initially riffing, and kind of being real funny. But the weird thing is, how can you do a comic turn without betraying the precepts of group therapy? Eventually you shed it."

In 2010 Williams was still attending AA meetings at least once a week – "Have to. It's good to go" – and I suspect this accounts for a fair bit of his Zen solemnity...

To see more on topics related to Recovery, click the link directly below.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

Excerpts from:
Decca Aitkenhead The Guardian, Sunday 19 September 2010
www.theguardian.com/film2010/sept/20/robin-Williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugs

Bipolar and Depression

Williams had been battling severe depression recently, said Mara Buxbaum, his press representative. Just last month, he announced he was returning to a 12-step treatment program he said he needed after 18 months of nonstop work....

Excerpt above from:
Aug. 12, 2014 | 1:15 a.m. EDT + More   By HAVEN DALEY and HILLEL ITALIE, Associated Press           www.usnews.com/news/entertainment/article/2014/08/11/robin-williams-manic-comedy-star-dead-at-63

Unfortunately the fatigue of an intense work schedule combined with his struggle with severe anxiety and depression, and the addition of Parkinson's Disease, proved too much, and Robin took his own life. Such a terrible loss!. As we learn more about their experience, we can provide  better support to those who struggle around us.

To find out more about #Depression , #Addiction  and #Bipolar from a comedian and celebrity much like #RobinWilliams .  Click the Link Below.

"Experiencing Depression or Bipolar" 
(click link  above to see playlist)

  #StevenFry candidly interviews many stars you will recognize as they talk about their experiences and beliefs on the subject.

Saturday, February 2, 2019

BEARING ONE-ANOTHER'S BURDENS







click title above to play videos or
click the link  below to see info on playlist 



I am very grateful to the makers of these three videos and wanted to share them
The facebook page of the creator can be found at: https://www.facebook.com/removedfilm/or view here. You may need to click 2 times.

I was adopted from a European orphanage and had a disrupted childhood due to family instability. As adults my wife and I foster parented a sibling group of similarly traumatized and emotionally reactive children. I have developed a great deal of resilience related to the events of my past, but to this day, I continue to be triggered.
The pattern of the behaviors depicted is very accurate and honest, and the video story combined with the personal narration and flashback memories effectively captured the tangled but predictable logic that drives the chaos and injury these children and their families experience. More importantly it does so without presenting simplistic solutions or controlling judgments about either. It just leaves the tension and chaos hanging there in the air, which is truly the reality of the experience. But more than anything, I appreciated the redemptive solutions. This truth is painfully accurate in as much as both foster child and parent join together in learning and modeling resilience, both emotional and relationally often in mutual woundedness, the reality of consistency in strong but unselfish love proves to be the right medicine. Most of us would do almost anything to avoid experiencing the insecurity, self doubt, and fear that frequently consumes the hearts of these children. But in reality until the pain is known and experienced mutually we are often unable to model the solution.
click title above to play videos or
click the link  below to see info on playlist 

Friday, February 1, 2019

Spiritual Pride

Exaulting, defending and imposing our own will while
self righteously punishing opponents and detractors...
This Truly is our most intoxicating Spiritual Deception.

Will we follow in Christ's steps of (humble) obedience...
or expect Him to follow us in our selfrighteousness and zeal? 

Pause and Consider...
(Who) expressed the highest religious aspiration?

I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
Isaih 14: 13b-14

(Answer)
How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations! For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God:
Isaih 14:12-13a

Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the pit.
Isaih 14:15