Sometimes the Worst is the Best!

 "Why the best day of my life." 

was the day my wife called 911!"

Grateful for Getting Freedom 

and having fun sharing about it!

As I said, "The best day of my life," was the day my wife finally called 911! Let me tell you why! 

That was the day I was awakened to see MY PROBLEM.

Before that, my total focus was on others! I could only really see the shortcomings of the people around me. I thought they needed to change. I was asleep in the light and didn't want to see, "MY PROBLEM!"

(slowly click arrow x 2 to see video)

Today, I am So Grateful for our Savior Jesus! He saw my problem and gave himself for me. He opened my eyes so I could see my hidden forms of destructive anger!

But this didn't begin to happen until after I received a little motivational help from the local police👮‍♂️👮😔👨‍⚖️and a judge.

Sadly, without this motivational opportunity I don't think my practice of citizenship or religiousness alone, would have ever motivated me to make the kind of changes that would change my life. 

P.S. Experiencing this, "motivational 👮‍♂️👮😔👨‍⚖️opportunity," is behind my reasoning for opposing the decriminalizing of drugs; both gateway and the, "harder," varieties, as well as the decriminalizing of so many other crimes that ensnare perpetrators and bring harm victims.

For more on this topics of, "Misguided Inclusiveness," and the true, costs of. "Embracing Lawlessness." Click the blog link below. 

 https://www.thesubwaywalls.com/2023/02/passive-aggressive-kindness.html 

When I finally stopped and allowed Jesus to change me. When I sought and accepted correction through His word and through those who followed it in my Celebrate Recovery support group, He empowered me to walk in a new way! A much better way for me and everyone around me! On the day to day level, this was more lifechanging than any of the classes I have ever taken, and even more successful than my back and hip replacement surgeries!

In time I was able to lead others and was asked to lead an anger management group at our church. There I shared what Jesus had done in my life and got opportunities to encourage and challenge others. Over time, I also compiled a manual for forming anger management accountability groups, and for convenience, I put the manual on line to be viewed on our cell phones. 

See the manual it at (link) not picture below...

https://www.morethanmanagement.life 

I also have a you-tube channel, and created a (You-Tube Playlist) that auto-plays a series of inspirational talks about understanding and overcoming life challenges and making healthy connections with others. And mixed in, the most important connection, our connection with our one and only, "Higher Power." 

See the playlist at (link) not picture. 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa 

And so in closing, May Your Life be Changed as you find the strength and comfort that comes with learning to accept reality. 

May you experience genuine fellowship with God and his encouraging followers. 

May you experience ever increasing freedom from all addictive behaviors. 

And may He extinguish the destructive fires of past and present toxic emotions and replace them with His Peace. 

In the Bible, John 14:27 states, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."

In other word... May you experience 

true Sobriety

EMPOWERMENT & RECOVERY (12 step, addictions, habits and self-absorption)

Empowerment & Recovery 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

Click title above for Playlist. 

The Playlist present a variety of speakers addressing various topics in Recovery including Brene' Brown, Brennan Manning, John Townsend, Nicky Cruz, Paul Wood, Jenny McDirmid and Mandy Saligari on a variety of approaches from 12 step to recreational networks mentors and education. Hope that you enjoy the harmony in the variety.

My story... I was adopted from an orphanage at age two and raised in the homes of multiple functional alcoholic fathers. My struggle was with anger, personal connection and substance abuse in my teens. I have been attending or leading meetings at Celebrate Recovery for nearly 20 years. I continue because of the support and help that I find. It is a place where I can work though my frustrations and learn from others without hurting or further damaging my relationship with those that I love.

Empowerment & Recovery 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

Click either title or web address above for Playlist of 

speakers on a variety of recovery topics. 

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 ABUSE TRAINING

I wish this were true for me. The man who said it was a black leader in South Africa speaking to a Nation that nearly destroyed itself through justified reactive retaliation over the abuses of the past and some that are still present today, as change take time. 

The saving message?   A commitment to forgiveness and productive cooperation in achieving mutual goals with their  opponents, including many who had been their abusers.   

Unlike the theme in this photo. I was taught to act the bully and to respond to bullying through fiercely destructive anger. The mother who raised me eventually grew tired of his abuse and left this father. As an adult, my own actions troubled my family and change was a difficult process leaving scars on many. It was a very sad and destructive thing for all of us to recover from. 

Today I am saddened by the fierce anger I see around me in our political landscape.... This is not a cause for pride.

Will the outcome of each election become focused on fierce anger and punitive judgements imposed by those that do not understand or appreciate the true potential of Democracy?

Or will we find a way to seek productive cooperation to achieve mutual goals. 

It is totally up to us. We are the only adults in the room.

DEMOCRACY....   IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!

Disclaimer... If you are in an abusive environment or are in danger due to abuse, I am not suggesting that you merely ignore and forgive and things will get better.

YOUR SAFETY IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE! 

DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR SAFETY!

DO GET THE SUPPORT AND HELP THAT YOU DESERVE!

One source is Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, at http://armsonline.org/our-programs/ ARMS is a program that my wife has been involved with for years. Initially for her own journey, and since to assist others in theirs.

Photo source:http://positivedailies.com/item/92-don-t-raise-your-voice-improve-your-argument

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Here are the Four C's of Addiction:

LOSS OF CONTROL:

(Substance abuse)

You can't have “just one” without taking a big risk.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
You can't stop your emotions without abusing self or others)

CONTINUED USE:

(Substance abuse)

Despite harmful consequences you spiral out of control, and keep using or acting out anyway.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
Even though you know your actions are making things worse you can't stop, you won't stop because you don't know how to stop.

COMPULSION TO USE:

(Substance abuse)
It's what you think about in the back of your mind.

It's there all of the time. 

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
It's what you think about in the back of your mind when you feel loss or threatened and may justify as the ONLY OPTION to protect or comfort yourself in your times of vulnerability.

CRAVING:

(Substance abuse and)
(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)

Your consuming drive to Use, Get High, Loaded or Stoned or...
Act Out to regain a temporary Sense Of Control. This drive begins to define you internally and eventually publicly. You find yourself either wanting more or in gripped in avoiding uncomfortable withdrawals.

So What do you think?

Do you think the four C's of Addiction apply to:

Pornography use? Infatuations and Compulsive Relationships? Compulsive Overeating? Compulsive Anger or Withdrawal? How about Compulsive video gaming? or Retreat into work ...(?)

Again, for some interesting videos on recovery and empowerment click the link directly below:

Empowerment & Recovery

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

The gentleman in the pictures above is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He won the Academy Award, Golden Globe, BAFTA Award and the Critics Choice Award in 2005 and several more in 2012. After 23 years of sobriety, he was found dead in his apartment, apparently from a heroin overdose. Hoffman's body was found amidst syringes, cocaine, prescription pill bottles and 50 small bags of heroin.

Hoffman had gone public about his past drug addiction. In 2006 he told 60 Minutes that when he was 22 he "got panicked for my life", and gave up the drugs and alcohol. Remember, he was clean for 23 years. Twenty-three years! And then two years ago, he relapsed.

In 2004, there were 1,879 heroin deaths, while in 2010 this spiked to 3,038. Across the US, there are approximately 600,000 heroin addicts , each spending from $100 to $200 daily to support their addiction.

But it's not just heroin. Once an addict, always an addict. Regardless of your sex, race or creed, if you're an addict, you're an addict—for life. Addiction is a brain disease. If you go through rehab, you're not cured. You're clean. But you're not cured

Hoffman was clean for 23 years and was unbelievably successful. In 2012 he began taking prescription pain pills. And he relapsed. He wasn't being selfish. He wasn't being stupid. He didn't think he was invincible. He was an addict, and he relapsed and died alone in his apartment.

Despite all the advances in treatment, increased understanding of brain chemistry, realization that addiction causes changes in neural pathways and various new meds that suppress cravings, this simple fact remains true: “Once an addict always an addict”.

And IF YOU'RE AN ADDICT

YOU CAN NEVER HAVE JUST ONE WITHOUT TAKING A TERRIBLE RISK!

Photo and text above from: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/reading-between-the-headlines/201402/philip-seymour-hoffman-the-curse-addiction

What do you think? Do you think the four C's of #Addiction apply to #Pornography use? Infatuations or Compulsive Relationships? Compulsive Overeating? Compulsive Anger? or Compulsive Withdrawal into....(?)

For some interesting videos on #Recovery and #Empowerment click the same www.youtube link listed directly below.

Empowerment & Recovery 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

___________________________________

Robin Williams:
Courage through Vulnerability,
20 years of Success  with 12 Step Support

 Photo and Excerpts from http://www.thguardian.com/film/2010/sep/20/robin-williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugsDecca Aitkenhead The Guardian, Sunday 19 September 2010
"Keep coming back; It works if you will work it, " is the saying often recited at the end of a #12stepAAmeeting . But after 20 plus years of success, something went wrong. Terribly wrong.

Williams used to be a big-drinking cocaine addict, but quit both before the birth of his eldest son in 1983, and stayed sober for 20 years. On location in Alaska in 2003, however, he started drinking again. He brings this up himself, and the minute he does he becomes more engaged.

"I was in a small town where it's not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, hey, maybe drinking will help. Because I felt alone and afraid. It was that thing of working so much, and going fxxk, maybe that will help. And it was the worst thing in the world." What did he feel like when he had his first drink? "You feel warm and kind of wonderful. And then the next thing you know, it's a problem, and you're isolated." fearfulness and anxiety." He didn't take up cocaine again, because "I knew that would kill me".....

Some have suggested it was Reeve's death that turned him back to drink. "No," he says quietly, "it's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."

In the end it was a family intervention that put him into residential rehab. I wonder if he was "Robin Williams" in rehab, and he agrees. "Yeah, you start off initially riffing, and kind of being real funny. But the weird thing is, how can you do a comic turn without betraying the precepts of group therapy? Eventually you shed it."

In 2010 Williams was still attending AA meetings at least once a week – "Have to. It's good to go" – and I suspect this accounts for a fair bit of his Zen solemnity...

Excerpts above and photo from:
Decca Aitkenhead The Guardian, Sunday 19 September 2010
www.theguardian.com/film2010/sept/20/robin-Williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugs

Bipolar and Depression

Williams had been battling severe depression recently, said Mara Buxbaum, his press representative. Just last month, he announced he was returning to a 12-step treatment program he said he needed after 18 months of nonstop work....

Excerpt above from:
Aug. 12, 2014 | 1:15 a.m. EDT + More   By HAVEN DALEY and HILLEL ITALIE, Associated Press           www.usnews.com/news/entertainment/article/2014/08/11/robin-williams-manic-comedy-star-dead-at-63

Unfortunately the fatigue of an intense work schedule combined with his struggle with severe anxiety and depression, and the addition of Parkinson's Disease, proved too much, and Robin took his own life. Such a terrible loss!. As we learn more about their experience, we can provide  better support to those who struggle around us.

To find out more about #Depression , #Addiction  and #Bipolar from a comedian and celebrity much like #RobinWilliams .  Click the Link Below.

When Our Thoughts Escalate, Struggling with Mood,

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L_Ssotw8i0pHe4M0dkycc9p

"Experiencing Depression or Bipolar" 

  #StevenFry candidly interviews many stars you will recognize as they talk about their experiences and beliefs on the subject.