Friday, February 8, 2019

EMPOWERMENT & RECOVERY (12 step, addictions, habits and self-absorption)






Empowerment & Recovery 

The Playlist present a variety of speakers addressing various topics in Recovery including Brene' Brown, Brennan Manning, John Townsend, Nicky Cruz, Paul Wood, Jenny McDirmid and Mandy Saligari on a variety of approaches from 12 step to recreational networks mentors and education. Hope that you enjoy the harmony in the variety.
My story... I was adopted from an orphanage at age two and raised in the homes of multiple functional alcoholic fathers. My struggle was with anger, personal connection and substance abuse in my teens. I have been attending or leading meetings at Celebrate Recovery for nearly 20 years. I continue because of the support and help that I find. It is a place where I can work though my frustrations and learn from others without hurting or further damaging my relationship with those that I love.

Empowerment & Recovery 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_

Click either title or web address above for Playlist of 

speakers on a variety of recovery topics. 


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 ABUSE TRAINING


I wish this were true for me. The man who said it was a black leader in South Africa speaking to a Nation that nearly destroyed itself through justified reactive retaliation over the abuses of the past and some that are still present today, as change take time. 

The saving message?   A commitment to forgiveness and productive cooperation in achieving mutual goals with their  opponents, including many who had been their abusers.   

Unlike the theme in this photo. I was taught to act the bully and to respond to bullying through fiercely destructive anger. The mother who raised me eventually grew tired of his abuse and left this father. As an adult, my own actions troubled my family and change was a difficult process leaving scars on many. It was a very sad and destructive thing for all of us to recover from. 

Today I am saddened by the fierce anger I see around me in our political landscape.... This is not a cause for pride.

Will the outcome of each election become focused on fierce anger and punitive judgements imposed by those that do not understand or appreciate the true potential of Democracy?

Or will we find a way to seek productive cooperation to achieve mutual goals. 

It is totally up to us. We are the only adults in the room.

DEMOCRACY....   IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!

Disclaimer... If you are in an abusive environment or are in danger due to abuse, I am not suggesting that you merely ignore and forgive and things will get better.

YOUR SAFETY IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE! 
DO NOT COMPROMISE YOUR SAFETY!
DO GET THE SUPPORT AND HELP THAT YOU DESERVE!

One source is Abuse Recovery Ministry Services, at http://armsonline.org/our-programs/ ARMS is a program that my wife has been involved with for years. Initially for her own journey, and since to assist others in theirs.

Photo source:http://positivedailies.com/item/92-don-t-raise-your-voice-improve-your-argument
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Here are the Four C's of Addiction:


LOSS OF CONTROL:

(Substance abuse)
You can't have “just one” without taking a big risk.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
You can't stop your emotions without abusing self or others)

CONTINUED USE:

(Substance abuse)
Despite harmful consequences you spiral out of control, and keep using or acting out anyway.

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
Even though you know your actions are making things worse you can't stop, you won't stop because you don't know how to stop.

COMPULSION TO USE:

(Substance abuse)
It's what you think about in the back of your mind.
It's there all of the time. 

(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)
It's what you think about in the back of your mind when you feel loss or threatened and may justify as the ONLY OPTION to protect or comfort yourself in your times of vulnerability.

CRAVING:

(Substance abuse and)
(Emotional or Physical abuse including pornography)

Your consuming drive to Use, Get High, Loaded or Stoned or...
Act Out to regain a temporary Sense Of Control. This drive begins to define you internally and eventually publicly. You find yourself either wanting more or in gripped in avoiding uncomfortable withdrawals.

So What do you think?

Do you think the four C's of Addiction apply to:

Pornography use? Infatuations and Compulsive Relationships? Compulsive Overeating? Compulsive Anger or Withdrawal? How about Compulsive video gaming? or Retreat into work ...(?)

Again, for some interesting videos on recovery and empowerment click the link directly below:

Empowerment & Recovery



The gentleman in the pictures above is Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He won the Academy Award, Golden Globe, BAFTA Award and the Critics Choice Award in 2005 and several more in 2012. After 23 years of sobriety, he was found dead in his apartment, apparently from a heroin overdose. Hoffman's body was found amidst syringes, cocaine, prescription pill bottles and 50 small bags of heroin.

Hoffman had gone public about his past drug addiction. In 2006 he told 60 Minutes that when he was 22 he "got panicked for my life", and gave up the drugs and alcohol. Remember, he was clean for 23 years. Twenty-three years! And then two years ago, he relapsed.

In 2004, there were 1,879 heroin deaths, while in 2010 this spiked to 3,038. Across the US, there are approximately 600,000 heroin addicts , each spending from $100 to $200 daily to support their addiction.

But it's not just heroin. Once an addict, always an addict. Regardless of your sex, race or creed, if you're an addict, you're an addict—for life. Addiction is a brain disease. If you go through rehab, you're not cured. You're clean. But you're not cured

Hoffman was clean for 23 years and was unbelievably successful. In 2012 he began taking prescription pain pills. And he relapsed. He wasn't being selfish. He wasn't being stupid. He didn't think he was invincible. He was an addict, and he relapsed and died alone in his apartment.

Despite all the advances in treatment, increased understanding of brain chemistry, realization that addiction causes changes in neural pathways and various new meds that suppress cravings, this simple fact remains true: “Once an addict always an addict”.

And IF YOU'RE AN ADDICT
YOU CAN NEVER HAVE JUST ONE WITHOUT TAKING A TERRIBLE RISK!


What do you think? Do you think the four C's of #Addiction apply to #Pornography use? Infatuations or Compulsive Relationships? Compulsive Overeating? Compulsive Anger? or Compulsive Withdrawal into....(?)

For some interesting videos on #Recovery and #Empowerment click the same www.youtube link listed directly below.


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Robin Williams:
Courage through Vulnerability,
20 years of Success  with 12 Step Support





 Photo and Excerpts from http://www.thguardian.com/film/2010/sep/20/robin-williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugsDecca Aitkenhead The Guardian, Sunday 19 September 2010
"Keep coming back; It works if you will work it, " is the saying often recited at the end of a #12stepAAmeeting . But after 20 plus years of success, something went wrong. Terribly wrong.

Williams used to be a big-drinking cocaine addict, but quit both before the birth of his eldest son in 1983, and stayed sober for 20 years. On location in Alaska in 2003, however, he started drinking again. He brings this up himself, and the minute he does he becomes more engaged.

"I was in a small town where it's not the edge of the world, but you can see it from there, and then I thought: drinking. I just thought, hey, maybe drinking will help. Because I felt alone and afraid. It was that thing of working so much, and going fxxk, maybe that will help. And it was the worst thing in the world." What did he feel like when he had his first drink? "You feel warm and kind of wonderful. And then the next thing you know, it's a problem, and you're isolated." fearfulness and anxiety." He didn't take up cocaine again, because "I knew that would kill me".....

Some have suggested it was Reeve's death that turned him back to drink. "No," he says quietly, "it's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid. And you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." What was he afraid of? "Everything. It's just a general all-round arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety."

In the end it was a family intervention that put him into residential rehab. I wonder if he was "Robin Williams" in rehab, and he agrees. "Yeah, you start off initially riffing, and kind of being real funny. But the weird thing is, how can you do a comic turn without betraying the precepts of group therapy? Eventually you shed it."

In 2010 Williams was still attending AA meetings at least once a week – "Have to. It's good to go" – and I suspect this accounts for a fair bit of his Zen solemnity...

Excerpts above and photo from:
Decca Aitkenhead The Guardian, Sunday 19 September 2010
www.theguardian.com/film2010/sept/20/robin-Williams-worlds-greatest-dad-alcohol-drugs

Bipolar and Depression

Williams had been battling severe depression recently, said Mara Buxbaum, his press representative. Just last month, he announced he was returning to a 12-step treatment program he said he needed after 18 months of nonstop work....

Excerpt above from:
Aug. 12, 2014 | 1:15 a.m. EDT + More   By HAVEN DALEY and HILLEL ITALIE, Associated Press           www.usnews.com/news/entertainment/article/2014/08/11/robin-williams-manic-comedy-star-dead-at-63

Unfortunately the fatigue of an intense work schedule combined with his struggle with severe anxiety and depression, and the addition of Parkinson's Disease, proved too much, and Robin took his own life. Such a terrible loss!. As we learn more about their experience, we can provide  better support to those who struggle around us.

To find out more about #Depression , #Addiction  and #Bipolar from a comedian and celebrity much like #RobinWilliams .  Click the Link Below.

When Our Thoughts Escalate, Struggling with Mood,

"Experiencing Depression or Bipolar" 

  #StevenFry candidly interviews many stars you will recognize as they talk about their experiences and beliefs on the subject.

CELEBRATING HOPE, COURAGE AND INTEGRITY

Celebrating Messages of  Hope Courage and Integrity
and the Need for Greater Intolerance!
#Celebrating Their Message of  #Hope , #Courage ,  #Integrity and the Need for…


Kailash Satyarthi and Malala Yousafzai were both honored with the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014.

In doing so the Noble Commission in Norway honored: A
Victim who would #NotBeSilenced and a   #GlobalVictimsAdvocate .  

It has been estimated that 90% of any population group can be controlled by a 10% minority that is willing to organize and intimidate their neighbors.

Simply said: The  two honored prize winners chose not to be intimidated, but rather to work to organize the 90%. 

In America during the Civil Rights Movement the, "Freedom Riders," did a similar thing. They immersed themselves into the conflict. They became witnesses, and companions to the suffering. Their presence brought the struggle to the homes of everyday America,  black and white. Their presence ensured social awareness and highlighted the  injustice of segregation, exposing a system that could no longer be tolerated.  Below is an intro to an excellent PBS special, "The Freedom Riders," that is no longer available on the web







Kailash Satyarthi and Malala Yousafzai are Freedom Riders in the Greatest Sense... a Hindu, and a Muslim...an Indian and a Pakistani..

Salmaan Taseer and Shahbaz Bhatti also worked to change the 90%. Taseer a Muslim and Bhatti Christian stepped forward and worked together in Pakistan to expose injustice, but few in Pakistan were able to follow, and their culture could not respond.

In 1989, 25 years earlier, the Students of Tiananmen Square  in China  stepped  forward as well,  but the people of China were not free to respond. 

One year earlier in 1988, The Singing Revolution occurred in the Baltic states. It was successful and the Tank Commanders joined the protesters in, "Freedom Rider," type activities, and together they broke free from the Communist System.

So, why such dramatically different outcomes?

I suggest that the, "Judeo-Christian Culture had a huge effect; that as the population of the Established Power Structure had a strong Cultural Identification with the values of, "Christianity," peaceful Protestantism was much more likely to be effective.

Why?... because of the values? .....the challenging nature of, "Protestantism"?...  or the fear of God? I think Lincoln would say the Fear of God. (see Lincoln's 2nd inaugural Address)

Today our culture has redefined it's values along humanistic lines and all but abandoned ideas of, "Fearing God," but we continue to honor the, "Challenging Nature of, Protestantism" as displayed in modern time by the acts Mandela and Gandhi in British controlled South Africa, and India and Dr Martin Luther King Jr in America.  Both with great success I might add.

And yet, the protests of the Arab Spring failed to bring movement toward resolution, but rather the destruction of order and devolution into greater factitious fighting. Hopefully theses will also resolve toward a better future. Lord Knows, there was great turmoil at the time of Gandhi and King. Turmoil that took both or their lives.

The playlist below suggests truths that transcend national, cultural and  religious mandate.  Some examine conflicts and responses both positive and negative.

Click the link directly below for Playlist, then Play All.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L9kiMRWlN6z4qjnf_Ayjuat

But back to slavery.... and Kailash and Malala.

The children of the world are needed to feed our appetites, and our appetites enslave the children of the world.

#Cheaplabor#CheapPornography and  #Sexualenslavement are only a few of the appetites driving demand for the young as we in the west grow the demand for cheap merchandise and surrender to habits of personal corruption. But this is not a problem of the west alone. In the East these practices occur without shame. In many parts of the "Non-Christian" world young women are expected to work as prostitutes for a period of time to pay back their parents for the cost of raising them, often starting as young as age 8. Their culture sees it as their duty, and so escape is next to impossible.

Sadly: This is a global and historical characteristic of humankind.

Corrupting our future sells, and when it does, the younger generations pay a huge price. 

The Clips in Play List below are focused on education and exposing or escaping from various forms of slavery, and organizations committed to bringing restoration. 

The 5th clip is an excellent speech given by #KailashSatyarthi several years ago on his work to free enslaved children and end the #cyclethatentraps their  families.

Click the link below and click Play all to view. 
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-tkJK4oU_fyY14bO4-gdNY&spfreload=10

PRISON DOORS (of self-critical discontentment and blame)






PRISON DOORS

It's easy to become locked into a prison of self-critical discontentment when we are unable to find the security, status or comfort we expected. Too often we become paralyzed by these feelings of discouragement and loose our momentum in our life or our recovery, but we must remember that even the least among us today often experience greater riches than even....

Louis XIV..."The Sun King"...

“The Sun King had dinner each night alone. He chose from forty dishes, served on gold and silver plate. It took a staggering 498 people to prepare each meal. He was rich because he consumed the work of other people, mainly in the form of their services."

"He was rich because other people did things for him. At that time, the average French family would have prepared and consumed its own meals as well as paid tax to support his servants in the palace. So it is not hard to conclude that Louis XIV was rich because others were poor."

But what about today?

"Consider that you are an average person, say a woman of 35, living in, for the sake of argument, Paris and earning the median wage, with a working husband and two children. You are far from poor, but in relative terms, you are immeasurably poorer than Louis was."

"Where he was the richest of the rich in the world’s richest city, you have no servants, no palace, no carriage, no kingdom. As you toil home from work on the crowded Metro, stopping at the shop on the way to buy a ready meal for four, you might be thinking that Louis XIV’s dining arrangements were way beyond your reach."

And yet consider this.

"The cornucopia that greets you as you enter the supermarket dwarfs anything that Louis XIV ever experienced (and it is probably less likely to contain salmonella). You can buy a fresh, frozen, tinned, smoked or pre-prepared meal made with beef, chicken, pork, lamb, fish, prawns, scallops, eggs, potatoes, beans, carrots, cabbage, aubergine, kumquats, celeriac, okra, seven kinds of lettuce, cooked in olive, walnut, sunflower or peanut oil and flavored with cilantro, turmeric, basil or rosemary."

"You may have no chefs, but you can decide on a whim to choose between scores of nearby bistros, or Italian, Chinese, Japanese or Indian restaurants, in each of which a team of skilled chefs is waiting to serve your family at less than an hour’s notice. Think of this: never before this generation has the average person been able to afford to have somebody else prepare his meals."

"You employ no tailor, but you can browse the internet and instantly order from an almost infinite range of excellent, affordable clothes of cotton, silk, linen, wool and nylon made up for you in factories all over Asia."

"You have no carriage, but you can buy a ticket which will summon the services of a skilled pilot of a budget airline to fly you to one of hundreds of destinations that Louis never dreamed of seeing. You have no woodcutters to bring you logs for the fire, but the operators of gas rigs in Russia are clamoring to bring you clean central heating."

"You have no wick-trimming footman, but your light switch gives you the instant and brilliant produce of hardworking people at a grid of distant nuclear power stations. You have no runner to send messages, but even now a repairman is climbing a mobile-phone mast somewhere in the world to make sure it is working properly just in case you need to call that cell."

"You have no private apothecary, but your local pharmacy supplies you with the handiwork of many thousands of chemists, engineers and logistics experts. You have no government ministers, but diligent reporters are even now standing ready to tell you about a film star’s divorce if you will only switch to their channel or log on to their blogs."

"My point is that you have far, far more than 498 servants at your immediate beck and call. Of course, unlike the Sun King’s servants, these people work for many other people too, but from your perspective what is the difference?"

This is truly a marvelous time to be alive, and your contribution will only make it better for those who follow you as you work step 12. But we must open the doors in our own mind and walk out of the prisons we have created. The following link is to a series of speakers as they share about achieving Recovery.

Hear them at: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLc7nB8Z7S2L-_fKC4npRUQZDMZpFnyOa_




Original unedited posting found at: https://plus.google.com/u/0/+ToddWilliam11/posts/PnKmjgpgKeB
Photo at: http://www.tourist-destinations.com/2014/09/palace-of-versailles.html
and: https://romaniadacia.wordpress.com/2015/12/01/communist-prisons/

REAL SANITY (provides perspective)



REAL SANITY...


The sanity of recovery is about maintaining perspective in a world of uncertainty. It is knowing that a sober relationship with our Maker is enough.

It is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?”

It is accepting the world as it is and still experiencing reasonable hope.

Photo source: http://medio-ambiente.practicopedia.lainformacion.com/catastrofes-naturales/como-se-forma-un-tornado-13198